Vote or Die

In North America politics have finally become regular water cooler talk for everyone on main street or bay/wall street. For those of you who are like me, proud Canadians you should know that within two weeks we have the privilege – yes I did say privilege, to choose our candidates of choice to run our country.

You may wonder why I say privilege; if this is the case then I urge you to check out world politics in Africa, the middle east, south America and even Asia. For those of you who may not care about being a part of the democratic process I hope you also understand why us voters don’t care if you whine about taxes or schools or the environment. Personally if you’re too lazy to take an active role in your country, either get out of this country and go to one who’s politics you do care about, or else sit in this country and don’t complain about anything related to the government.

I know that a large number of people feel that the English prime minister debating won’t be as entertaining to hear over the American presidential debates. Sure if you’re in the financial sector wall street directly affect bay street, or if you’re in the manufacturing industry you care more about the forecasting of ford over the oil sands. Maybe you are just super curious to see if Americans will actually vote for a black president. However at the end of the day, your taxes go to Canada, your passport says Canadian and any complaints you have about Canada should go to your MP. So Vote! Take the time to figure out what each party stands for, what they want to do with your dollar and vote.

It is soooo annoying to keep having lower and lower turnouts every election at the polls. It is even more annoying to keep having minority governments and have everyone complaining how there is too much traffic and crime…etc. So people you really only have 3 choices; it is simply: Vote, Run or shut up.

<3

Most days the majority of my smile is true
Most days through the clouds I can see blue
Same days are harder than others

How do I hide that you are missing
How do I hide that I am longing
Why has 2/3 of my heart has left me

I’ve never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve
Or to bother with people and grieve
So how did I allow this to happen?

Holidays remind us of the past
And remind us to keep things slow, not fast
So how do I let go and detach?

Is it fair to detach from you guys
As a method to deal with others’ lies
Can either of you understand my pain

Is it fair to hold back and be fake
To protect myself from crying a lake
Can anyone actually live with only 1/3 of a heart?

Ignorance is Strenght

The summer Olympics are now over and we are left with our first impression of China as an international power – Iron Curtin and all. From the documentaries of how citizens needed to be thought etiquette, to the singer being deemed too ugly to appear on stage, to questioning the actually competitors age in gymnastics and now recent news of rust being found in the steel of the birds nest, there is no doubt China is nowhere near the human rights and freedoms as the current dominating powers.

Though the games made a lasting impression for the athletes and the world. One would have to be extremely ignorant to think this was any different than watching a Hollywood style movie. Everything scripted and cleaned out. Lucky for us we can all move on and enjoy the next set of Olympics… Vancouver 2010. Every fan you see there will actually be cheering rather than “volunteering” to cheer. Bring out your red white and maple leafs, as we get ready to host the Olympics as the true North strong and free.

Olympic Fashion

As the countdown for the Olympics in Beijing winds down there are many aspects to watch, learn, cheer, question and enjoy. Of course this being the stage of the best athletes in the world they are the primary focus. Go Canada Go!! Unfortunately since I played in a similar style Olympic games this past June I’m not as interested this year in the actual sports but rather the secondary aspects of these games.

Athletic fashion is very specific and unique in each region. From the actual material, the colors, sizing, cuts every region has their own style. I’ve been extremely disappointed with HBC’s attempt of making Team Canada gear! The clothing has been extremely ugly, poor quality and is a shame on our country. Athletes don’t want to look homeless or like clowns. Our Canadian colors are red, white and black. Our symbol is the maple leaf and the Olympics symbol are the rings. Why is it that HBC has yellow and red everyone on the prints? Sure the Olympics are in China… and we have plenty of Chinese people in Canada. But really we are team Canada and our colors do not include yellow or this odd gold trim. Team gear is supposed to represent your country not the country you are going to. I assume I’m not the only person who feels this way solely based on the fact all Beijing Olympic gear is 50% before the games even start!! Even the golf shirt they ruined by having odd lettering and numbering, where in canada do we ever use this font? Maybe HBC didn’t make such crappy clothing people would buy it at regular price. Judge for yourself... from the items below the only one which is nice would be the Red hoodie.

My Dream JK (Place of Worship)

During my travel I have been fortunate enough to be able to see how many different cities and countries build their places of worship. While in Kenya for the Golden Jubilee Games I was fortunate enough to see and hear where follow Ismailis have their mosques I was sadden that even though we Ismailis live in a comparably richer country and even though we have a pretty large population in Canada that we are unfortunate and do not have the same amenities in our places of worship compared to the “less fortunate,”

I’m sure there are many logical reasons for this, some of which I have come up with while speaking to you all, including:
- we don’t need it
- we don’t have the $$$
- we should integrate in the community more
- land is too expensive

I have don’t have an exact answer and I’m not sure I will ever find someone that will give me the correct one (rather then their own opinion). What saddens me is that once in our religious class we were actually asked to make a mosque design. None of the groups though of non north American traditional amenities. Amenities that differ from:
- prayer hall
- social hall
- kitchen
- library
- place for shoes
- parking

Why is that? Personally I think its because we didn’t see anything that different. Now that we have the ability to communicate with others around the world my dream JK (mosque) is no longer Calgary’s Headquarters JK; but rather something similar but with a twist. As a base I think Calgary’s HQ is great. There is plenty of room and the layout in general I like. I have just added a lower level, 2 levels if parking (there is never enough parking at any mosques) and an athletic field. I will explain the design first then explain why I think this is feasible.

Level 2: Calgary’s HQ JK.
Amenities:
Prayer Hall: Paats, payer area, stage, sr sitting area, extra rooms on either side
Antiroom: nandi area, sr chairs, glass walls which let in sound and allow you to see
Foyer: Library, Kitchen, Literature Desk, Washrooms, Handicap and Baby Washroom (changing area), Shoe area
Social Hall: stage, extra large kitchen, storage area,



Level 3: Upper social hall Design Calgary’s HQ JK
Amenities:
4 Classrooms
1 Storage Room
3 Sound proof squash courts

Level 1: Sports level:
Gym: hardwood floors, good to play several sports/activities, includes spectator area. Good enough for 3 full length basketball courts
Arena: two full ice hockey rinks. Can be iced or not. Also in this area, large washroom and several change rooms and showers
Indoor field: Full size indoor soccer field and spectator area.

Outside:
In Front of JK: garden
Sides of JK: double level parking
Behind JK: Field (same side as deck out of social hall). Includes full size soccer pitch, running track around it and spectator area.


Feasability:

1. The main design structure (levels 2 and 3) are pretty much the same as the existing JK. The level one would be the same size as level 2, could be constructed to be soundproof and be either a basement level or a first level off the ground.


2. The overall symmetry and mosque like design is still intact. The only visible difference is the double layer parking (which can also be an underground and ground level parking) and an outside field.


3. If land is a major issue then take out the field and it will still be a great complex used not only during prayer time


4. If weather is a concern make the outdoor field into a bubble dome, or in the winter use the field as an outdoor skating rink


5. Maintenance/sustainability of the sports complex:
   
   
   
   • Staff: Volunteers. Hire Ismaili first, then the rest of the community
   
   
   • Have small fees for the Jamat to use it outside of special event days
   
   
   • Have all sports tournaments at this venue. This way the venue fee is less and you are paying to keep the facility open
   
   
   • Include this in the monthly cleaning
   
   
   • Rent out the space to businesses during work hours (have a maximum number of times a week the facilities can be rented)
   
   
   • Have leagues and classes where people pay small fees
   
   
6. If it can work in other countries there must be a way to make it work for us. Some of their tactics include selling advertising space around their fields and in their gyms. Selling refreshments (water, pop, juice, snacks). Having a club house restaurants, similar to Legends at Parkland Sports complex Nairobi


7. We always need more parking. Though I haven’t seen layered parking yet I think that the benefits of more parking on location without needed more space makes sense. Also underground parking could be place under the outdoor field as an option. Making the most out of that area.

Reason for adaptation of my dream JK:

1. It will bring more people to JK


2. It will make sure less people miss khane for sports (especially kids) because the league times will be around khane activities and ceremonies.


3. It will encourage us all to be healthier


4. Allow us to interact in a positive environment.


5. Classes run in these venues can target specific age groups. For example, seniors bollywood aerobic classes. Children’s soccer leagues, female bone building (anti-osteoporosis) classes, and maternity classes.


6. Venues are hard to find and expensive this is lower the individual costs of each project/tournaments...etc


7. Though the base cost to build this can be costly this is an investment for the future. Also there are ways to keep it sustainable with fees.


8. Will encourage the people to do activities after prayers rather than go out to eat or do less healthy activities. For example, according to this Pakistan athlete all the women after prayer ceremonies would go outside and play volleyball and the men would go play cricket. This is something they looked forward to and this was the post khane ritual. Much healthier than standing around drinking chai and cookies.


9. Camps and BUI classes will have venues to host physical activities


10. Will allow less fortunate and working families to enroll their kids in programs with subsidize costs.

Ishallah one day my dream might come true!

Aswan pt 2

My favorite part of the trip was going to visit the His Highness the Aga Khan 3’s Mausoleum in Aswan. This post is a rather personal one. The mausoleum is private for the family and followers of the Aga Khan, known as the Aga Khanis or the Ismailis. (For more information about the Aga Khan or Ismailis please check out http://www.iis.ac.uk/view_article.asp?ContentID=104628)
I remember when looking into this trip I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough spare time to go and see this site and to go pay my respect. Even though I was never alive when Aga Khan 3 was a leader it was something that I always wanted to do and something, which many followers will do. Most Ismaili I know would feel that Egypt is not completely seen if they had not gone to visit the mausoleum.

The overall experience was pretty memorable, from getting the initial details sorted to see the mausoleum back in Canada. Then telling my tour guide that I needed to make sure we had spare time to go see it and getting this incredibly shocked and interested reaction (mostly because he did not know anyone who had been inside of it). Even finding the felucca guy who was suppose to take me there was an interesting experience. I pretty much ended up jumping into a random guy’s felucca (who I found out later on was actually was the right guy). I remember thinking that this stranger might just be kidnapping me. It was a nice relief when the guy started talking about he’s experience working for the Aga Khan and telling us about meeting the family. It really felt as though an uncle of yours was telling you about a grandparent you have heard so much about but never had the chance to meet.

In order to get up to the Mausoleum one would have to walk up stairs. or take the ramp up. This was the first and only place in Egypt where I saw ramps for disabled people. It was a nice feeling that even the disabled would be able to access this place, as most of Egypt is completely inaccessible for them. I ended up going there midday; it was a hot day, and I had to be completely covered, including a scarf, which I have never worn before. The walk up was rather tiring, mostly because of the heat, but the old felucca man who took me up seemed to have no troubles. Once I got inside there was a Quran reader reciting Fatihah (the prayer you say when someone dies). I sat and prayed. This is by far the most peaceful experience ever! No matter what thoughts I had in my mind, no matter what else was happening around me I was in complete peace. I have tried to meditate before and I’ve tried to attain peace but this was something really special.

Once the actual prayer was done, I was asked to write my name into the guest book they had at the place. It was pretty cool because I got to flip around and see other people who have come to that place. There were people from all over the world but definitely a lot of Canadians! The coolest part is that when the Aga Khan himself or his family comes they have also signed the book. It was nice to see their signatures and to have my name in the same book as theirs. When making the trek back down the felucca guy showed us that they were building a house so when the current Aga Khan would come visit he would have he’s own place. Currently they were building he’s swimming pool. The thing that got me in the end was that these workers who took me there and who read the Quran and who were maintaining and working to build the house were not Ismailis. Yet, they created the environment where I felt the most religious and the most spiritual satisfaction.

Aswan

A common question I got upon getting back was would I go back there. Usually I try to plan trips so that if I were to never go there again that I would be fully satisfied with my experience. The one place I would consider trying to revisit is Aswan. This city is located right along the Nile, in order to get to the other side and to some of the middle island you need to take a sailboat (felucca) or motor boat. It’s a pretty fun experience getting to ride these, very relaxing and comforting. I personally love sailing so this was an awesome bonus to the trip. Some of the activities included:

--Unfinished obelisk which was unfinished because it cracked while trying to make it not because they were too lazy to finish it.
--Noubian Village, where the local Africans lived, it was pretty interesting to see how they were treated and how their houses were. The village was crazy complicated, I doubt they ever got mail as it was impossible to navigate, and it was all pretty run down. Our group was lucky enough to go eat at one of the local’s houses and I discovered that they eat Daal (aka Dar aka lentil soup Indian style).

The Markets in Aswan are pretty lively, they were pretty safe… though you can get some over pushy salesmen’s trying to selling you something. Overall, the market experience was pretty fun. They always asked where I was from, and when I replied Canada… the prices of things seem to start at the 200 pound level…. And then I switched and started saying India … they seemed to start at the 50 pounds?? Good ol supply and demand economics right there. Some of my favorite lines from the vendors were (v= vendor, a = Alissa):

V = No Hassle…as they were hassling you to buy something (I’m pretty sure they had no idea what hassle ment).

V= come in and see… everything is for free (haha nothing is ever free)

V= where are you from?
A= Canada
V= Canada dry (I guess they only really knew Canada that way… though I couldn’t ever find any Canada dry when I wanted it)

V= where are you from?
A: India
V= Amitabh Bachan!!! (yes that’s right… everyone in the world knows Amitabh. I even found one vendor who could name me a bunch of hindi actors. Some even knew Ki Hal Hai)

Sleeper Trains

Before this trip I had never really been on a train. Sure I’ve been on the Vomit Comet (TTC) and the C train and such but never on a real train. This was something I was pretty excited to experience. The train station in Giza was pretty decent. Reminded me a lot of what trains stations look like in Bollywood movies. It was nice that my tour guide warned us about the bathroom facilities so that we all went before getting there. But I was pleasantly surprised. The cabin sizes were pretty decent, though I wouldn’t bring too much luggage. The food was meh, the same as airplane food. It was actually more fun to hang out with everyone as you could chill in each others cabins. It was nice to also see the country side from the train. It looked like most countryside’s… fields, grass, rocks, water, mud.

The hardest part of this style of transport however was that you couldn’t use the bathroom while at stops. From what I figured is that the bathroom went straight on the tracks. Also there were large windows where it seemed the people outside could easily take a look at you doing your business .. I couldn’t remember when boarding the train if you could really see inside that much but it was definitely awkward. After getting up in the morning I definitely needed to use the facilities but it seemed that we were at this one stop forever! Word to anyone going on trains there… go often and when you can… Otherwise this was a pretty awesome experience, I definitely recommend it! There is even a party car….

Alexandria

The European influence on Egypt can be seen best in this city. Alexandria is the Okanagan or Wasaka to Canada. Its where Egyptians go for their beach vacations. The atmosphere here is much more clean, relaxed, fresh environment. The salt water provide a nice environment change to the sands. The two funny stories at this destination include being kicked out of Alexandria Library and following local’s to cross the roads. I call that follow the leader… I was trying to cross a super busy street without much success. Then I saw a couple of local women, covered in their Jihabs starting to cross the road. So I followed them weaving through traffic so closely that they could feel us brushing up against them. Just as I got to the end I could hear them make a comment in Arabic which I can only assume meant, stupid tourist what are they doing….

We checked out Alexandria Library, which is an amazing modern architectural design. It includes a planetarium dome and a library area in the shape of a pyramid, made of glass with each panel resembling eyelids. There were section tourist galleries and exhibits so once I was done with that I decided to walk down to the main library study areas. After browsing around for a while I found a mathematics section. Yes, I found some of my university textbooks, which I dreaded so much in that library. It was an interesting discovery, something that after the fact doesn’t shock me but at the time definitely caught my attention. I mean between the rows of Egyptian history books in multiple languages there was a mathematics section with classical algebra. I guess it just emphases the value of education in Egypt, especially since they had the first university in the world. I’m sure by now you’re all impatiently wondering how I got kicked out. Well after exploring the books area I went to the elevators and decided to go to the top to see the view. So I went in the elevators. They had no security around them and the elevator spoke out the floor you chose in the best English I heard in Egypt. So once I got to the top, I got off and notice that all around me where secured conference rooms and private offices. I looked down and notice that the security guard was telling me to come down, and then this man came out of one of the glass conference rooms and told me I must be lost and that I should leave... before I caused too much troubles I decide I should leave.

Giza and the Pyramids

Egypt’s main tourist catch is undoubtedly the pyramids. Even now, architects and engineers argue about the creation and the ability of such “primitive” humans to build such amazing structures. The actual pyramids are pretty impressive however for me it’s the questions on how they were built that interested me more. How is it that a population of about 30 000 ancient Egyptians, could be so organized, so smart, so strong, so willing to build such amazing things??? While visiting the pyramids I was luckily enough to go on a camel ride taking me around the pyramids and letting me ponder the various questions. This is probably the thing I enjoyed the second most while at this site.

The thing I enjoyed most at the pyramids: We had some free time to check out the pyramids, boat museum and just do whatever we wanted. I was happy to leave the group and just walk around the pyramids. I went to the non-tourist area where there were the work men, the camels being feed and a bunch of little kids. I noticed a group of girls off to one corner kicking around a “ball”. This "ball" was really just a bunch of cloth tied together. As I walked around to observe the environment, I positioned myself near this soccer game. Shortly after standing and watching one of the girls kicked me the ball and I ended up kicking the ball around with them. It was quite the experience to be able to interact with Egyptians on a non-tourist level. I happened to wear one of my soccer Jersey’s and when I told them I needed to leave (by waving goodbye) they all wanted to take pictures with me. It was a pretty amazing experience and one that proves that sports are an international language, and international way of bonding.

After the soccer match we drove down to see the Sphinx. It was pretty nice. The view of the sphinx with the pyramids in the background made for some great pictures. However after my soccer experience the sphinx didn’t seem too exciting… maybe it was just because it was hot and I was out of breath.

Cairo

Cairo is the city of chaotic peace. You may be wondering what the hell I’m talking about but for those of you who have been can probably agree with me. Upon landing in Cairo the entry way for me to Egypt I had to first buy my visa off a shady dude. What I mean by this is that there were random guys and guys in stores who would sell you entry Visa and you could bargain for the price. Coming from Canada is this my first huge shock. The second was as I get out of the airport I notice that the white lane marking on the road mean nothing. Everyone in Cairo drives like you would in Mario Cart. The shoulder of the roads are considered lanes and there are very few traffic light but rather the honk and go system. This makes it a great mission as a pedestrian to cross crazy busy roads. Did I mention that the population of Cario is the same as all of Canada’s population (30 Million or so)?? In Egypt they do not believe in movers…. if you need to move your 14” tube tv… you just carry it on your head without any hands while trying to weave and walk through traffic. Yes that is a true story. So this is the chaos.

Now for the peace, this is a little harder to explain and I doubt I will do it justice with my words. Outside on the roads you can hear constant honking, there is crazy amount of pollution, making it both hard to see and breath. There are people everywhere. Somehow the architects have been able to block out this chaos in the local mosques and Al-Azhar Park (among other places). Picture yourself weaving through traffic, trying to breath through heavy smog, all you hear is noise and honking. Then step 300 meters into Al- Azhar park. The only sounds you hear are the water fountains and birds chirping. You smell, grass and flowers. Where did all the chaos go? There are no high walls, no bubble domes, it is not higher or lower than the craziness outside. All that surrounds you is peace.

For me this is the best part of Egypt. Sure they have Pyramids, tons of tombs, shoreline, the Nile…etc. But for me this is the real gem of Egypt.

http://www.alazharpark.com/historical.htm

Its been a while...

Sorry for not posting for a while. I have had many adventures, travels, achievements and sorrow over the last month and a half. Unfortunately I find blogs don’t do the justice for the happy times but are used mostly for the hard times. Maybe its because its too hard to sit down and write when your smiling. Why interrupt a perfect moment for a picture or words. I will post my travel thoughts later in the summer once all my travels are done.

Right now I just wanted to post some words, (so I can fully have my mind focused on my dream), inspired by a song whose meaning I seem to understand too well… A word of advise to all… Actions and inactions are always greater than words. Like in basketball, don’t follow the ball, the head or the shoulders of an opponent, because one can move that too easily to mean anything follow the torso movement… it’s the one thing u can’t fake….

I feel so dumb right now
Waiting around for
You to apologize
For the year of pain
And deceit

But, don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not
Don’t tell me you did nothing wrong
You really had me going
What a show it was
Very entertaining

A year full of this re-run
Everything is great
Everyone is happy
You really had me going
You’re so ugly when you Lie
I hope your done your fun

Consumed in all your doom
I am worth more, so
Don't bring me down
the puzzle undone
I will find a way, so
The sun will smile my way
Don't you bring me down

PS: Prairies What????
PPS: CAN A what??? CANADA!!!! Go CANADA GO!!!!!!

Outsourcing Level 2

I know I am suppose to blog about my vacation, but I had to throw this in because it was just too good. Recently I went to a restaurant for an event’s after party. It seemed that the restaurant stayed open a little later than usual to accommodate our large group. Everything was good; we pretty much had the place to our selves. The service was a little slow but with so many people who kept moving around, it was better than expected. It was a long day for me and I ordered an appy of chicken fingers and I added a side of fries to my order. After chatting away I found this huge platter in front of me a huge portion of chicken tenders and a large almost super size amount of fries.

After digging in a bunch of us were really impressed with the fries. There was something definitely special about them. At first we couldn’t really place what was special about them, but then it hit one of my friends… they tasted just like McDonalds fries. McDonalds fries have a very unique special taste and once we had placed the taste there is no way anyone could argue that is where they are from. Conveniently about a block and ½ away from the restaurant was a McDonalds.

We all expect certain products to be outsourced; I doubt anyone doesn’t know that all calls for customer support are mostly getting routed to India. It also doesn’t really matter who help you pick your computer problem as long as it gets fixed. But have we come to a point where restaurant food is now outsourced? I mean sure it makes sense, you don’t have enough cooks, or products, buy a cheap finished product and sell it for a higher price. But when it comes to food, one would hope that if you go to McDonalds you actually get McDonalds products. Similarly, if you go to a fancy restaurant shouldn’t you expect that there is a chef/cook somewhere deep-frying your fries and not a delivery boy at the McDonald’s drive through picking it up?

Change for a change

Recently I went on an international flight and I was extremely impressed with an onboard program that I needed to write about it. I don’t know if this is something which all airlines do, but it really is an awesome idea. British Airways has this program in conjunction with UNICEF where all international flights have a little envelope which everyone is encourage to place their foreign currency change in. I think this idea is awesome because:

1. Everyone has change of foreign currency when you go away on vacation
2. Banks will not exchange it
3. Most people will never use this extra change
4. When a large amount of people put their change together it adds up to be a substantial amount.

I definitely encourage all airlines to adopt this idea. What good is a couple of English Pounds or American Dollars, or some YEN you will never use? Why not put it towards food, water and education for a poor country? It really impresses me how some people can come out with simple ideas which can then be implemented into large scale projects and do so much good. Next time you fly BA remember to keep your change and add it to that little pouch.

Let the Madness BEGIN!!!!! Inside the head of a fan

Here I am at work, and like 85 000 + VIP NCAA fans and 132 000 + Regular fans I am waiting in my virtual line waiting to get into the site to watch the big dance. Now that a pretty darn long line up, potentially the longest in the world; until they do a similar thing with world cup soccer of course. I’m happy though; I am number 5711 in line, which I think is good. Its definitely better than waiting in line outside for something, or waiting in traffic line ups, or even air traffic line ups. I hate line ups, especially one’s I physically have to stand in. This line up is much better, log into the site, spend 10 mins trying to remember my password for VIP access and then let the computer line up for me while I try to get a days worth of work done so I can relax and watch the games.

Just as I feel like complaining I get in!!! Woo hooo the VIP pre registration sign up worked! I get to pick my game first. Defiantly wanting to watch Kansas making far so that I gain max points on my bracket. But the Georgia vs Xavier seems like it will be more entertaining. I notice as always they have a handy “boss” button. What can I say, the ppl who invented this have perfected it. Though maybe they might want to look into adding a couple of food delivery buttons especially for the first couple of rounds where games are all day. Ok so I have about 20 mins left before tip off, I am comfy in my seat. I need to make sure that I am well hydrated and fed. Of course I should probably go to the bathroom in a couple of mins…..Sports fans, basketball fans, and everyone who is bored at work….let the madness begin!

Gifts and the 5 Rules

**Note this post was written in early Feb but posted now

Its that time of the year… Valentines, Easter, Navroz, March madness. No this post isn’t about the best sports tournament in the world (I will save for its own couple of post) but rather the madness of everyone in my family being born in March and the gift buying procedure combined with the general gift expectation for Vday, Navroz, Easter, and all the other holidays. This is a post I’ve wanted to write this post at most major holidays and gift giving times but never really got around to it so here it is….

Gifts are a way of showing someone that you care. No matter what the media and shops and whoever decides when the gifts are to be exchanged… in the end gifts are to show you care. When selecting gift it is vital for you to remember this.

So how do you choose a gift for someone? Rule #1 never get them something they don’t do or like. If they don’t read then don’t get them a book. It doesn’t matter how meaningful that book could be, doesn’t matter if the book is about something they like, in the end they don’t read get some them something they will like. When choosing a gift for someone it is pretty easy if they tell you what they want. If they tell you what they want, get it for them. Its pretty simple, as long as its in your budget and your effort range, get it. Don’t try to push your values or the things you like on someone as a gift. Ex: If you like golf and you want your wife to play, don’t buy her golf clubs if she hasn’t shown interest in it before. Golf clubs would be you pushing something you want on her, rather than getting her something she wants. Which is really what its all about.

Gift Certificates:

Some people think this might be impersonal and in some way it can be. Rule #2 A gift certificate, which someone will use, is much better than a crappy gift! Some good examples of when gift certificates should be used is when you don’t really know the person, you know the person enjoys a certain thing but you aren’t sure what specifically they don’t already have or what size/style they would enjoy. Ex: if someone is athletic and loves basketball but you don’t know what their favorite team is… a sports stores gift certificate would be appropriate over buying them something of a team they dislike. The more you know about a person the more specific the gift card should be, as in if you really know nothing about someone then go with a mall gift card as if offers a variety of things they can pick, and if you know someone well then go with a specific store. Gift Cards work especially well when you are sending the gift long distance (via mail). Keep the receipt though in case the card get demagnetized.

Food gift cards can also be good gifts, if you know someone loves Starbucks coffee but only buys it on special occasions and buys Tims coffee otherwise. A Starbucks gift card for them to indulge would be an awesome gift. A Tim’s card however, probably wouldn’t be as appreciated.

Also note that it is important not to give someone a gift from a store they have you a gift card for. Especially if the amount of the gift is less than the amount of gift certificate which they gave you. Example, someone gives you $50 gift card for store X and then you buy them something from that store worth $20. Not only is this bad in terms of regifting it is also obvious in terms of money value.

Money value when giving gift certificates, can be complicated. Usually they come in standard amounts $15, $20, $25, $50, $100…etc. It really is up to you how much you spend; everyone had a different budget. It should be noted however that a $15 Holt Renfrew gift card would be ridicules in the same way a $100 McDonald gift card would be. Keep in mind what you hope the person would get from the gift certificate and the general prices of things in that store.

Gift Effort:

It is obvious to see that some gifts take more effort than others. Whether that effort is actually the time to find something really specific, or if you have to physically make it. Rule # 3: It is important when you think of your budget that you also think of the effort needed to give this gift. For example, if you’re planning to order something online note that potentially American credit cards are only accepted, or that you will need extra time for it to get to the person in time or that if its something specific it won’t actually be what you wanted. If you are physically making something, try to ensure that you start it early enough to have it completed by the time you want to give it as a gift. Usually people are good with understanding things take time and that potentially have stalls along the way but sometimes it just seems like there is a lack of effort, usually if this is with a closer friend or family member.

Gift Teasing:

If you know someone would really love something which might be out of their range or is just something that they haven’t gotten around to getting and you were planning to get it for them but some complication happened, Do not tell them about it! Rule # 4: People don’t want to hear about the amazing gift you tried to get them but couldn’t. It’s a tease, its hurtful and it overall rude. I don’t really know why people do this, or what about telling you what they were trying to get will make you feel better about the shitty gift you just got. I don’t really understand it. I’ve had many people do and say this to me and it really just hurts and probably effects my willingness to gift them later on. I know there are things in life which are complicated and expensive, just the same as you do, so don’t tell me you wanted to get something expensive or complicated and then give me something you know I will just return. Also on that note; Rule #5: If you say you’re getting someone something make sure you follow through. False promises suck, even if its months before a bday or an occasion to get a gift for someone, if you say you will buy X for them on Christmas, you better suck it up and buy X no matter what that means in terms of money and effort.

Gift Returns:

Many people think different things on this issue but this is how I see it; if you won’t use or appreciate a gift then return it and get something you want. There is no use to announce this to the person but do try to let them know that you’re not really interested in X. This must be done in a professional way. There is no use to tell someone you love their gift of X when you really don’t. This is especially important for people who have allergies and such.

Some gifts cannot be returned easily and so the regifting issue arises. This can be another stick situation and there are several things to consider, would someone you know appreciate the gift or are you just getting rid of it and is this a personalized gift where it really only meant for you. Please look at the gift certificate note for gifting someone something that you’ve received a gift certificate for. I really don’t see a problem with regifting as long as you remember Rule #1.

Happy Gifting All

Love Fool

The other day I heard a song on the radio which I haven’t heard in years; The Cardigan’s Lovefool (lyrics below). I used to enjoy this song back when it came out mostly for the beats and the fact it was easy to sing along. The lyrics always made me laugh as I never though anyone could really be this “lovefool”

Until yesterday I didn’t even remember this song, but as I heard it and really listened to the lyrics I can now related for somehow I have become this crazy, naïve love fool. How can this be? How have I stooped so low to feel for someone in similar ways as the song mentions? What scares me more is that I don’t think I’m the only one. I think there are at least a handful of us who have somehow become this lovefool. Why do we want someone we care about to,

“Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me”

Yes go so far as say pretend that you love me. Has it really become so hard to just let go that we rather have fake love, that we need this fake love to feel needed? As also stated, "Reason will not lead to solution/I will end up lost in confusion"


The Cardigans
Lovefool Lyrics

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought to stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg
Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool mego on and fool me
love me love mepretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could do have done in another way
to make you stay

Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
as long as you don't go

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

in her shoes poem

The art of loosing isn’t hard to master
So many things seem filled with the intent to be lost
that there is no lost is no disaster
Loose something every day
Except the fluster of lost door keys
I lost two cities, two rivers two continents
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster
Even loosing you the joking voice
The gesture I love
I shouldn’t have lied
Its evident the art of loosing isn’t too hard to master
Though it may look like disaster

Slinky

There are so many amazing and cool toys out there for today’s children. I am amazing at how creative, artistic and even sophisticated some of these toys have become. One of the simplest toys in my childhood was the slinky. Pretty much a coil which mirrored wave patterns. Some of the cooler ones were colored in funky bright ways, I even recall a glow in the dark one. On the commercials for this toy it would show kids walking their slinky down stairs and having what seemed to be so much fun. I never had a chance to have this fun with my slinkys.

I had a slinky playing deficiency. Actually I still have that deficiency. I don’t know what it is about this toy, no matter how often or little I touch it, I always seem to get it all tangled up and I have no idea why. Usually this deficiency results in having to throw out the slinky, or to turn to my lil sister and show her in hopes that she will be able to fix it. Its pretty sad actually, even yesterday I played with my sister’s slinky and after all of 2 mins it was in knots. I guess there are just some things, which are too complicated. Some might think its multivariate calculus but I think it’s definitely figuring out a slinky.

Walls

What is the purpose of a wall? It is to keep someone/something out of your side or your property. In history there have been a couple major walls which were built, east/west Berlin, China/Mongolia, there was also this iron curtains wall between communists and capitalists… either way whenever one side felt threatened they would build up a wall in order to safe guard their thoughts, way of life, people…etc. Looking back at history we see that those who ended up building the walls often seem to marginalized more so than those who just woke up with a wall built.

Why is that the case? Was it that the other side was just better able to grow and be dominant and progress or was there something about putting up that wall and sticking to your beliefs that maybe slowed one’s progress? I’m sure there are many historians and people who have studied politics who have a theory on this, in some sense I’ve always thought it was the second. Over the past couple of days I’ve begun to hope that its not really the case, and that its just a coincidence about the walls and the overall growth and accomplishments of both sides.

I guess that I find myself putting up walls in order to assure that I only keep in people and things, which advance me towards my goals. It’s a common thing I assume most people do. Its been particular difficult because I know there is someone who I should be keeping out but who my heart wants in. I feel as though my mind has built up these walls (with good reason), but that my heart is trying desperately to tear them down before it’s too late. I want to believe that even if I do end up putting the wall that it will be the right decision and that it will help me move forward. I don’t want my progress to be slowed because I put it up, but at the same time I want to protect myself from the “evils” of the other side.

I wonder if all the leader who chose to build the walls which kept their people from growing, if give the change they would have not built it. If they would have thought it was better to just move forward.

Toes

Have you ever thought what it would be like if you lost a limb (a non vital limb)? How different life would be without a finger, or toe, or arm, or leg? Its not something that I every though would cross my mind but over the last little while certain events have prompt my thought about this; specifically about cutting off a limb. Assume that one of your toes had a frost bite and that it was infected pretty bad. If the doctor said that there is a small possibilities that with a new change in season that you wouldn’t have to worry about it refreezing and that it could heal. But when analyzing the overall progress of the frost bit that there is a big chance that it will progress no matter what, putting other parts of your body at risk.

What do you do? Do you just suck it up and cut it off, knowing you will probably not be able to enjoy the things you’ve taken for granted. Loosing a toe would probably put yourself off balance, would potentially mean that you can’t really play certain sports (soccer), that you might have to go to therapy to relearn how to walk. It would probably look/feel odd if you wear sandals. At the end of the day, its just a toe, many people have lots them and have been perfectly fine, but this is your toe. A part of you which, you never really imagine having to live without. But a part of you which recently has repeatedly slowed you down and caused you pain and which has been recommended to cut off. How do you know when it’s the right time to give up on it healing and just take it as a dead potentially infectious part of you which you need to let go no matter what that means? How long after you cut it off will you keep pondering if it was indeed the right choice?

Family Day

This past weekend was the first time that all of Canada celebrated the family day holiday. The day was meant to be one wherever family would spend some quality time together, enjoying each other’s company. In Alberta, we’ve always had this holiday, well as far as I can remember. We use to have special tasks in school to celebrate this long weekend, making family tress, writing about what family means to us, describing what we enjoy doing with our family..etc. I’m not sure if they started this in school all across the country but I believe it’s a good exercise. After all family is family, they are the ones who are suppose to pick you up when no one else will, they are suppose to be your safe guards, your unconditional love, they are suppose to always have your back in any way you need.

The family unit these days seem to have disappeared, parents feed up with their children, siblings being selfishly into themselves not caring about each other… everyone is just so busy and caught up with themselves. Probably why most people after a certain age are alone. Why there is so much divorce, why there are so little attributed to a real family these days. How is it that we can gain back that prestigious family entity? Is it not something we all want and cherish so much? What happens when we’re so caught up in making a new family that we forget about those people who we were born with, the ones we made our family in the past? Is it fair that we just drop them now that we want to move onto a new family? Who will you run back to one your life ends up in divorce? Should the people you abandon let you back in?

Family day, enjoy it with your family or go back to work!

Happy Red and Pink Day

Yes its that time of year again….how can I resist to put up my 2 sense about the day?

On my drive into work, I was listening to the radio morning show and they brought up some pretty interesting points about Vday (or single’s awareness day as they called it). They mentioned how today is a depressing day for most people, which makes sense. Firstly if you’re single, then you don’t have a shot at getting any chocolates, flowers or anything really. If you’re in a relationship your man/women might not feel the urge to send you super expensive flowers or gifts as that one in your office. Isn’t there someone who always gets that amazing flower bouquet, or yummy chocolates or the new fad chocolate covered strawberries? Of course that makes every gal out there super jealous she’s not special enough to get the same, and makes every man out there anxious because he only bought a card. Of course, if you have lost a loved one, this day probably makes you feel pretty crappy and sad also. Never mind for those people who are dealing with a recent break up I'm sure the scars of that love will burn today. I especially hate those who are hypocrites...yes we all know them, the ones who are so opposed to flowers, chocolates, dinner plans on vday until of course they have a man who does it.

As noted in my blog last year, vday is nothing but a marketing scheme of making you feel depressed and putting pressure to buy stuff in order to show your love. Love should be year around, and should be for everyone you love. That’s right, your family, close friend and you lover all deserve to feel loved everyday. Why is it that the media needs to create these days (vday, mothers day, fathers day, bdays) to remind us of the people we love? Are we so self engrossed in ourselves to remember to show some loving to those we care about enough to love? I’m sure if we all loved a little more everyday the world would be that much of a better place.

So day while you feel the pinch of the arrow today either, because your special someone didn’t do something for you, or because you don’t have a special someone or because you happen to be the one person in the office with all the flowers everyone hates, just remember to pass on the love.

Writer's Strike

Hollywood’s Writer’s Strike is apparently finally over. I actually not sure if its actually Hollywood or if its just the people who write English language entertainment. Either way this writer’s strike has been super annoying. Making our television experience full of reality crap and reruns. Even though I don’t have a lot of time to watch tv, I like to know when I do decide to waste an hour staring at the tube (yes I still have a tube tv) that its worth my efforts.

I can’t believe how depended the entertainment world is on these writers. Apparently a couple of award shows got cancelled or postponed because of it. The ones which were completed were apparently of poor quality. Firstly, how hard is it to say, the nominees for _____ are_____ ohh and the winner with their amazing ____ is ___. I mean really, I could have written the script for that. Ohh and of course it must be so hard to introduce performer…. From their (multi platinum album/ new album / up coming album) we are (proud to present / excited to have for the first time) ______.

Common people… how much do you really need a writer to come up with those lines? Do some research it takes 0.02seconds to find info on Google and then memorize it. Or heck practice your improve; you're suppose to be amazing artists, or actors!

Signs

I’ve found myself being in various conversations in which people are trying to understand the true meaning of people’s actions or inactions. I’ve always been an observer myself, but I never knew how much people depend on this and I don’t know much you can really tell from a person.

Some examples include, a bf/gf not being to say they love you, not introducing your bf/gf to your friends or family, having someone who loves you constantly forgetting about events or important dates, having someone who loves you driving 30km to drop off stuff to other friends but not being able to mail you something which you’ve asked for several times, having good friends constantly doing something which you have told them annoys you ….the list is really endless.

These may or may not be unintentional errors on the part of the other person, but when this happens to you how can you not wonder what it means. If maybe it’s the first sign that they don’t actually love you, that they really aren’t your friends, that for them you are not worth the effort or time it takes to do or remember something important. Does it matter how often something like this happens? Does it matter how the person was in regards to a similar situation before compared to now? How much can one wait, or endure until you have to bring it to their attention, until you really have no choice but to assume you’re not worth it to them and you need move on? Why is it that everyone hates to be left hanging yet they aren’t willing to put the effort to make sure they don’t do the same to others?

So many questions, way too many potential answers..... if they aren't bothered by their actions or lack their of... then obvious that you aren't on the same track. After a while its too hard to deny that they really don't care about you and its way to easy for them to lie and make up excuses for their actions.

***Dedicating this blog to all losers in our lives who we keep even though we know they don't care about us***

Wildlife Concerns in Canada

Canada, I would say, is a relatively safe country to travel. We do not have any disease, we don’t really have many harsh wildlife. I would say in general you don’t have to worry about crime. Our laws are even definitely on the liberal side. Recently, on the news it was shown what the land down under advises to their citizen’s in regards to the travel to Canada.

It was pretty hilarious because I expected them to write, it gets cold so bring warm clothes. However it surprised me that they warned about potential tornados, earthquakes, forest, bush fires, tsunamis, wild life, terrorism, pick pockets, snow and ice. Firstly, how can Australians, home of snakes, lizards, scary animals issues a caution for our geese, dolphins and other animals. How dumb does this sound, “Australians are advised to maintain a safe and legal distance when observing wildlife, including marine animals and birds. You should only use reputable and professional guides or tour operators and closely follow park regulations and wardens' advice.”

I’m sure crockodile dundee will be crying like a little girl when he gets shat on by one of Toronto’s pigeons.

AHHH!! Scary Pigeon....

http://www.smartraveller.gov.au/zw-cgi/view/Advice/Canada

Used To Love U

I recently heard this song which I loved a couple of years back. I find the lyrics so real, so pricturous, so simply amazing... So I have pasted them below. I urge you to go download (or buy) the song.

Used To Love U
John Legend

Holla Holla Holla
Holla Holla Holla

Maybe, it's me, maybe I bore you
But no no, it's my fault,'cause I can't afford you
Maybe baby, Puffy,Jay-z
would all be better for you
'Cause all I can do is love you

Baby when I used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you, anything you asked me to
But I tired of livin this lie
It's getting harder to justify
Realized that I just don't love you
Not like I used to

Holla Holla Holla
Holla Holla Holla

Maybe, I should rob somebody
So we could, live like Whitney and Bobby
It's probably my fault, my bad, my loss
But you are, above cost'
Cause all I could do was love you

Baby when I used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you, anything you asked me to
But I tired of livin this lie
It's getting harder to justify
Realized that I just don't love you
Not like I used to

Holla Holla Holla
Holla Holla Holla

Do you remember when I used to love you
Baby no not any more,
(I don't)love you
Ooohhhh, I love you
And you're gonna miss me now(Yeaaaah)

Baby when I used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you, anything you asked me to
But I tired of livin this lie
It's getting harder to justify
Realized that I just don't love you
Not like I used to

Oh I used to love you(Used to love u)
Oh but I don't love you(No not any more)
Oh I used to love you(Used to love u)
Oh but I don't love you(I bet you miss me now)
Oh I used to love you(You're gonna miss me now)
Oh but I don't love you(I bet you miss me now)

Stats 101 --sports edition

Okay, so I have this major dillemma coming up and I really don't know how to deal with it. I've spoken to most people about it and I'm sure by now they are sick of hearing about it. Most have been nice enough to suggest solutions and possible ways to get to those solutions...and here is one of them.

Help me Calculate the following probability:

Situation: There are 2 tournaments coming up and you can only try-out for 3 sports to get into the first tournament (vancity), you can only play one sport per tournament. You need to win the vancity tourny in order to move on to the kenya tourny. At the Kenya tourny there is a possibility of playing or spectating; the Vancity one the only option is which sports to play.

Try-outs: 3 sports: Basketball (B), Squash (S), Track (T)
Probability of making the tryouts per sports = 100% for B ; 95% for S; 98% for T
Enjoyment in terms of percent for sports: B = 100% ; S = 80% ; T=60%
Enjoyment of spectating = 75%

Assuming I play B, probability of wining tourny to move onto Kenya = 5%
Assuming I play S, probability of wining tourny to move onto Kenya = 35%
Assuming I play T, probability of winning tounry to move onto Kenya = 70%

Winning Kenya tourny chances:
B=95%
S=10%
T-5%

Which sports should I play in order to get the highest change to go to Kenya?
Which sport would I have the best chance to do well in Kenya?
Is that sport better than spectating?
If it isn't better than spectating then which sport should I play to get the highest overall statisfaction ?

--------------------
My solution: plz add comments for how you'd tackle this problem

Probability to go to Kenay=(tryout%)(tournament win percent)
B: (1)(.05) =0.05
S: (.95)(.35)=0.343
T: (.98)(.70)=0.686

Best Chance to do well in Kenya = probability of playing in kenya * winning in kenya
B: 0.05*0.95=0.0475
S: 0.343*0.30=0.103
T:0.686*0.05=0.0343

No sport is better than spectating: spectating > Playing

Overall Satisfaction= satisfaction*making try outs+ satisfaction*winning Vancity + satisfaction*winning Kenya

B: (1)(1) +(0.05)(1)(1) + (1)(0.95)(0.05)(1) = 1.0975
S: (.8)(.95) +(.8)(.95)(.35)(.8) +(.8)(.8)(.8)(.95)(.35)(.1)= 0.989824
T: (.6)(.98) +(.6)(.98)(.6)(.7) + (.6)(.98)(.6)(.7)(.6)(.05) = 0.84237

Motivation

“There are those who enter the world in such poverty that they are deprived of both the means and the motivation to improve their lot. Unless these unfortunates can be touched with the spark which ignites the spirit of individual enterprise and determination, they will sink back into renewed apathy, degradation, and despair. It is for us, who are more fortunate, to provide that spark.” -Mawlana Hazar Imam: Inauguration of the Aga Khan Baug - Versoya, India, January 17, 1983.

Recently I went to a seminar which was based on the quotation above which I really enjoyed so I figured I should share it with you all. I think the quote is very powerful and can be related to many things not just about poverty. For me the quote really means that we all need motivation in order to better ourselves, and that there are times in life where we are so lost and if we’re lucky enough to get a hand from someone we will be in a better situation to move forward. When I think about this quote it reminds me how many of us lack motivation in life, myself included. I find that the things in life we have to do (school, work, chores..etc) keep us bogged down that we don’t actually do anything to help ourselves (or others) move forward in life.

I really think that motivation is the key to success in life and in general in everything you do. I find that so many of us aren’t really motivated towards most things in life. For example, most of us would probably leave our jobs for a similar job which pays slightly less, and most of us use our sick days even when we aren’t sick. I find that we need to see the benefit that we receive before doing anything. Once we have a steady routine down, many of us don’t really try new things, or try to make it better.

Personally, I find it hard to devote time to helping others, or thinking of solutions to problems which others face. I don’t really think of myself as being selfish, maybe that’s because in life I I have worked for the things I have and will have to work for everything I will get in the future. I’ve been burned many times from people I cared about and I’ve seen consequences of bad judgements. But I am lucky to get little sparks of motivations from friends and I really think that these sparks are what have made my life worth living. I would have never played hockey, if it wasn’t for my roomie giving me the push I needed to go after it; I would have never explore tdot if it wasn’t for someone pushing me to make the most out of everything…etc. What I’m trying to say is that we all have our routine, we all fall into a system that works for us, but every now and then someone comes and challenges us to do something which makes our lives better. I believe that for those of us who have felt that, need to take initiative to do the same for someone else. Whether its on an international level dealing with poverty, or if is to just encourage a friend to pursue something you believe they will enjoy or make their lives better.

I’m hoping in the New Year that I can really take initiative to motivate people to pursue things they love and pass on the spark to others. I feel this blog, is the start of this mission of mine for the New Year. I urge you all to reread the quote above and to analyse what it means to you.

Life on the Road

Okay, I don’t really know how it feel to live on the road, the longest road trip I’ve ever been on was all of 4 days but I do drive everyday during traffic to get to work and back. I’ve driven on some of the busiest roads in Ontario, Quebec, Alberta and even BC. Below I have noted some of my frustrations and what a I think would help potentially solve the problem:

-Rubber neckers: ok there is an accident, it sucks for the people who are stuck in traffic, and there is no good reason for you to slow down, and create additional traffic. I say the fine for this should be $200 and after 3 offenses within you license renewal time (5 years usually) your license gets suspended so that you are not allowed to drive during traffic periods.

-Driving at the Speed Limit in the Fast lanes: The left lanes are used to overtake people, if your not going faster than the people on the right lanes DO NOT drive on the Fast lane. You are causing unnecessary traffic for those who want to go faster and you are potentially causing potential accidents for people who are trying to move around you. I say the solution is simple, anyone caught doing this gets an automatic $200 fine and must re-enroll in drivers school (whichever deals with highway driving) and must complete a highway test.

-Photo Radar during traffic time: Photo radar I think is all around annoying because instead of police looking to catch people who are actually driving dangerously they are just assuming people who are driving faster are dangerous. This however is not always the case (see examples above). I especially get frustrated when a POPO is sitting there with a radar when its traffic time. Firstly, it usually is a miracle that you are able to even reach the speed limit while in traffic time, it would be an even bigger shock if you can go over the limit. Now why would the cops want to create more traffic by pulling over people who might be lucky to have a stretch of road where they do not need to inhale fumes from other cars? The fine for POPO being the cause of creating traffic should be a 5% decrease in salary for every police person involved in that decision every time.

-DUI’s: I hate, that’s right HATE how DUI’s are now shown to be cool by all of Hollywood and all these famous rich people. It is crazy and annoying. I especially hate when you hear how a family gets plowed down and killed and the drunk driver in the other car is perfectly fine. If you plan to be intoxicated, then plan to have enough money to cab it home, or to call a friend, relative, random person to pick you up! If you want to mess around with your own life then that’s up to you, when you decide to endanger others, you should pay. Recommended fine, is eye for an eye. After a DUI you should never be allowed to drive or buy alcohol (or whatever intoxicated you) for life. If you kill or injure someone you should have to compensate them for the rest of your life the % of harm you have done to them should be the % of your assets now and in the future, which you owe them. If you killed someone, then all your assets should be taken and you should be sentenced to death.

Acceptance

The Kübler-Ross model (aka the 5 stages of acceptance) is a topic which I find uber interesting and which I have had the pleasure of discusing with various different people. For those who are a little less familiar here are the stages (some times the stages are futhure broken up into 7 stages):

1.Denial: Why Me ?
2. Frustration And Depression
3. Hopelessness
4. Impatience
5. Fear and Panic
6. Over or Under Reaction
7. Acceptance

I really believe that dealing with any sort of heartache whether it be death, harassment, a bad relationship, hard situation…etc we all have the following process in order to fully accept the situation. I think that the reason depression is on an increase; the reason why smokings, drugs, alcohol, are on a rise is because we are stuck on the acceptance path. Somewhere along the line we have had to resort to other methods of coping, which has either staggered us on the path or allowed us to forget or feel it isn’t there. Unfortunately, these feelings will catch up with you, if this wasn’t the case then the number of unemployed shrinks would increase.

What is it that can help us on this path? How long should we expect to suffer while trying to get that peace? What if we are grieving many different things? Is it bad to start a relationship while still grieving? These are all questions which I believe can never really be answered but which I urge you to think about before being faced with something to grieve about. Its important to understand what type of person you are, what types of things you foresee needed and potential distractions which will hurt you while in your grieving.